Navigating the silence

About Bullying…But Upwards.

Some of the most complicated bullying issues are when circumstances defy the “Norm” - When a child bullies a parent, (yes it happens) or when a weak appearing woman bullies a strong appearing man, and more often than not, the more ‘acceptable’ bullying at work; from charities to the co-orporate classics.

In the corporate world and many public businesses, discussions around workplace bullying often focus on scenarios where the bosses in positions of power exert their authority over subordinates. for example, a structure like our good, old NHS can have workers from admins to nurses, nurses to doctors, doctors to surgeons, all within the comfortable hierarchy of training and their well laid out pay bands; a more acceptable hierarchy of knowledge based power when not being abused, but we all accept that top of the food chain, the surgeons are completely OK being rude or ill adapted to people, even patients ( a bizarre concept given that we look for help from these professionals when we are at pur most vulnerable and surely they, of all people should take the care to be tender?) Ok, rant over. We appreciate our pecking order values based on the knowledge and insight of experiences, and we hope and trust that those in a greater position of power are both fair and just and do not exploit that trust. It can be hard, but when we are bullied or badly managed by our superiors, we can go to HR, we can go to whomever we need to speak out to to gain our support.

But what if the bullying is actually upward?

Another dimension to workplace bullying that still seems to be unaddressed:

upward bullying, particularly in middle management roles.

This form of workplace aggression involves employees targeting their managers, creating a toxic environment that can significantly impact productivity, morale, and mental well-being. Despite how often it happens, talking to someone…Or even actually admitting you are a victim to upward bullying creates masses of unique challenges for when we are caught in the middle.

One of the primary obstacles to addressing upward bullying is the power dynamic inherent in hierarchical organizational structures. Middle managers may fear repercussions or retaliation from both their superiors and the perpetrators of bullying if we do find the confidence to speak out. This realistic fear if we are in a toxic workplace can lead to an increasing culture of silence, where more and more victims suffer in silence rather than risk their career premotion or reputation.

Moreover, the ambiguity surrounding the definition of upward bullying really complicates matters. Unlike traditional forms of bullying, which are often characterized by overt aggression, upward bullying can manifest in subtle ways such as:

undermining authority,

spreading rumors,

gaslighting

exclusion

withholding information

This makes it challenging for managers of the bulliers to identify let alone be able to articulate our experiences, perpetuating the cycle of silence.

Another significant barrier to disclosure is the stigma associated with being a target of bullying, especially for those in leadership positions. When we are middle managers we may worry that by admitting to being bullied we will undermine our authority and credibility, which may even lead to questions about our suitability in the role and worry that it can very easily derail any of our career aspirations; by having it officially documented that we cannot cope. That once we find out or even admit to ourselves that it is happenening. When we don’t feel “good enough” we are happy to self blame for being a poor leader and the other/s are right.

As a result, it seems far safer to suffer in silence, and grapple alone with the psychological toll of not good enough without seeking support or intervention.

There is quite a considerable lack of formal mechanisms for reporting upward bullying exacerbates the problem. HR departments and senior management may be ill-equipped or unwilling to address complaints especially from middle managers, viewing them as less urgent or important compared to issues involving frontline staff.

Without clear avenues for recourse, we can feel like a victim; feeling powerless and isolated, further cultivating the culture of silence.

Addressing the problem of upward bullying requires a multi-faceted approach that acknowledges the complexities of corporate dynamics.

Healthy organizations will prioritise a culture of kindness, accountability and support, where any forms of bullying face zero tolerance, regardless of the directionality. This involves them implementing robust reporting mechanisms, providing training and resources for both managers and employees, and fostering an environment where open communication is encouraged and valued. So if you are looking for a new workplace or new environment, don’t be afraid to ask about employee support structures. You actively want to look for a company that understands the importance of promoting a culture of respect, empathy, and inclusivity, they can help dismantle the power structures that enable upward bullying to thrive.

Firstly, if you feel that you know you are being subjected to upward bullying, that’s (horrendous but also) good news, as you have got past the first hurdle of knowing you are good enough. So the next strategy is to look at why that may be the case.

If you feel that something feels wrong at work and can’t quite put your finger on it, or if you constantly feel like you’re on the back foot,

Rather than deny them, meet with your feelings, consider that upward bullying may be at play... Accept that it can be a thing.

Bullying has no gender targets, for the bully anyone is fair game. It can trigger anyone’s ‘not good enough’ feeling.

Come in and talk it through. Sometimes a safe, confidential, off the record space can be super helpful to understand the currents that are at play at work.

Give Tracey a text on: 07976629098 to understand and equip yourself.

Photo by Thomas Bonometti on Unsplash